两篇看起来大同小异的大作文，为什么一篇老师打了19分，而另一篇只给了15分？

　　知道这四分之差意味着什么？意味着阅读错了两道题(2道题*2分)，意味着完型错了八道题(8道题*0.5分)

　　而复习这些题你又需要花费多少时间才能提高这个分数呢？

　　每一分都很重要，听专家的，快速提升主观题成绩，让成功来的更容易些。

　　考研英语全程班或联报班的学员都有机会学习新东方名师姜丽蓉考前高分必读班，包括作文班、翻译班。详解考研英语主观题答题模式，让你迅速攻克主观题，提高成绩。

　　下面是本次作文批改的题目以及考研教研员对学员的作文批改范例，是从学员作文中经常出现的1、词汇错误2、语法错误3、句式错误4、主题立意5、篇章结构 等方面进行的批改。

　　作文话题是：

　　第一篇：

　　2008年考研英语写作真题 　

　　Directions:

　　Write an essay of 160~200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should

　　1) describe the drawing briefly,

　　2) explain its intended meaning, and then

　　3) give your comments。

　　第二篇：

　　Directions:

　　You live in a room in college which you share with another student. You find it very difficult to work there because your rommate always has friends visiting。

　　Write a letter to the Accommodation Officer at the college and ask for a new room next term. You would prefer a single room. Explain your reasons。

　　老师给的批改如下：

　　Collaboration

　　Collaboration  is of the utmost importance to be human beings.Everybody not only needs chacrect [e1]  individual character ,but  also  demands collaboration 。

　　As is described in the picture , Though two man who both lost legs that  right  and  left, [e2] they are  running  to  cooperate  [e3] each  other. Collaboration help[e4]  them step out of difficulties. Cooperation is used in  our lifves[e5]   in generrally .Such as: [e6] business ’[e7] team work ,study partner ,interest group,discution[e8]  group, band  and so on.They are[e9]  all club together。

　　Help[e10]  each other  can improve  efficiency . For istance[e11]  , team work is used in vast majority factorty[e12]   in moden life.We always to[e13]  see that  a  process of sweater ,one group disposal[e14]  wool, an other  team  make  string, other  peoples[e15]   change the string to sweater 。(此句错误较多，没有掌握一个。。一个。。另一个的表达法，应为one …another…another)A sweater is  made by some people or groups not only (by)one. We is bring around the tabel by foreman, (不理解你这句话的意思)dishes are  appeared  on table by waiter or waitress , cate is cooked by kitchener, cash is pay[e16]  on counter in  restaurant.we finished have [e17] dinner in their help[e18]  each other .So many things of result[e19]  need effort of no-one[e20] .Collaboration is important  in life.                                                         

　　To sum up,we should keep collaboration in general .It can help us filish[e21]  many  things that we can not do it by one.I was convinced cooperation can improve work productiveness in meliorate[e22]   life, Help our society will be better palce for us to live in。(此句有误，应改为helping our society to be better place for us to live in。)

　　点评：你将文章分为了四段，首段对合作进行了阐述，在第二段时才对漫画进行描述，一般来说，这种写法也是没有大问题的。但为了保险起见，我们通常将文章分为三段首中尾最好，首先将漫画的内容描述清楚，然后讨论漫画中体现的合作精神，最后联系实际进一步深化主题。

　　你这篇文章中出现了较多的语法错误，请你在接下来的写作中引起高度重视，因为像单复数这种错误在阅卷老师看来就是你英语能力差的体现，是不可饶恕的，一旦发现容易给老师留下坏的印象，分数会受影响。

　　你对漫画深层次含义的讨论还算清楚，举了实例，但语言偏于贫乏，只能算是勉强交差，不能给阅卷老师眼前一亮的好印象，因为通篇下来我没有看到主题句的亮点，没有句式的变化。我们在文章中最好能有一到两句长句，能使我们的文章更加生动、鲜活。

　　当然，这是我们练习的第一篇作文，有错误和不足是难免的，希望经过接下来的学习，你的写作水平能够有实质性的进步！

　　小作文

　　Dear,[D23] 

　　I am student who live in a room in college which share with another student.I am in troubble[D24]  .I need your help.I find it I can not very difficult to work [D25] .The immediate cause[D26]  is my rommate always has friends visiting[D27] . They disturb me all the while[D28]  .  So I want to change my room . A single room is best choose[D29] . Thanks。

　                                                                 　Yours

　                                                                 　Monica

　　评语：1.你的字数明显不够，字数不够扣分是非常严重的，如果不是万不得已，哪怕你是简单句，也得凑够字数。

　　2.你的单词拼写和语法错误都较多，说明基本的词汇掌握的还不够，语法要多掌握基础的知识。记得单词拼写一定不能错太多，一个0.5分呢？你一篇错个五六个，再加上其他语法错误，就难保及格了。一定要注意单词背诵和基础语法。小作文的就那么几个题型，每个题型的常用句式一定要背熟练。

　　[e1]多余的，应删除

　　[e2]此句有误，though后面应连接完整句，而不是定语从句。应改为：Though two men both lost one of their legs。

　　[e3]你这句话的意思是他们跑的目的在于合作，但漫画的意思应是他们合作的结果是跑。最好改为：by cooperating

　　[e4]应为helps

　　[e5]应为lives

　　[e6]冒号删除

　　[e7]通常复数后面只加’。如果是单词以s结尾还是要加’s的

　　[e8]Discussion

　　[e9]Club together是动词，去掉前面的are

　　[e10]动名词作主语，应为helping

　　[e11]instance

　　[e12]factories

　　[e13]删除

　　[e14]应为动词形式dispose

　　[e15]Peoples表示民族的意思，如表示很多人则people不加s

　　[e16]应为paid

　　[e17]应为having

　　[e18]应为helping

　　[e19]应为results

　　[e20]no one 的意思是没人，应为everyone

　　[e21]finish

　　[e22]meliorating

　　[D23]Dear what?在不知道对方称呼的情况下，用sir or madam,

　　[D24]In trouble

　　[D25]I find it difficult to work; sb find it +adj+to do,表示某人发现做某事很怎样。

　　[D26]这个词用的好

　　[D27]The immediate cause [D27] is that my roommate always has friends visiting [D27]

　　[D28]常用all the time

　　[D29]Is the best choose